Another year done! I can't believe I'm now halfway done with undergrad (if everything goes according to plan that is). It's been another year of personal growth and learning with some of my all time favorite people. I feel more aware of how societal issues affect myself and those around me. I also feel like I have a slightly better understanding of what I want from my life. It hasn't been all sunshine and roses but I feel like I have come into my own more - which I suppose is what you're supposed to do as you get older. I don't think 'finding yourself' is a linear journey though. It's more like a spiral of sorts. I'm going to try to explain this analogy because it makes sense in my head, but articulating these types of things has never been my strong suit. The center of the spiral is your 'inner self'. You start your journey way, way, way back at the start of the spiral, both at a radial and spiral distance from the center. You travel along this spiral distance, naturally, through time, and discover things about yourself along the way. You might get stuck in some spots or go through what are considered 'phases', but it all is part of your personal journey. You also might feel like you're going in circles at times, particularly when you are at a spot parallel to where you were before (but still radially closer to the center). However, in these spots, it's okay to reflect on the things about yourself that used to bring you joy. Sometimes it's good just to laugh and reminisce, but it's never too late to reimplement something in your life if it still fits into who you are in that moment or who you want to be. I also think that your 'inner' or 'true' self is dynamic. I think it can change without you even realizing. To me that looks like the spiral going into or out of the plane. As you travel along your spiral path, the center begins to become clearer. I don't know if any of us ever actually make it to the end, but I think the magic lies in what you find out about yourself along the way. So anyways, there's my really confusing life self-discovery analogy that I'll probably try to visually illustrate below because why not?

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Moving on! Potentially the worst thing I did this year was take two semesters of Organic Chemistry Lecture and Lab. And I know that probably sounds bad in the face of many other's struggles, but it genuinely was the hardest course series I've taken. I really just could not fully grasp the material and it took up the majority of my mental (and emotional) energy. I'm really proud of myself though for struggling through and finishing strong. My friends definitely helped me keep my sanity through all of my late work nights, stress-induced tears, and general disdain of everything chemistry. However, there were a lot of good things in school this year as well. I decided to add two minors: Environmental Studies and Spanish. I'm really excited about both and I think that they will help focus my career goals as well as help me achieve success after graduation. They are also just interesting to me! For the first time, I think ever, I am genuinely excited about all of the classes I have lined up next semester. It feels good. This semester I got to take an innovation class where I worked with the Cincinnati Zoo to design enrichment for the tigers. This class kind of helped to further solidify my desire to work with animals in some capacity. I've (almost) officially strayed from the Pre-Med and Pre-Physical Therapy paths that felt safe (both financially and socially). Instead, I am currently opting to pursue things I feel more passionate about. I am going to be taking classes in sustainability, ecology, travel writing, culture, and language. All of these things feel intrinsically important to me and I'm excited to dive deeper into them. Hopefully, I will eventually find a career and masters program that fit at least a couple of these interests and that fit within the goals I have for myself and my life. 

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Straying from the school side of things, I got to do a lot of cool things with my friends this year. I went to a ton of concerts - one of my all time favorite ways to have fun, relieve stress, and lose myself to good music. I got to spend time in the city of Indianapolis for a couple of concerts and explored downtown via Bird scooters. I was able to take a road trip to Nashville with my best friends and explore the culture of the city through music, meals, and murals. Over spring break, I got to visit the west coast for the first time. I stayed with my aunt and a friend on Co-op in the infamous city of San Francisco. That trip was so fun and I got to see incredible buildings as well as coastlines. It was a time for firsts: my first solo plane ride, my first solo use of public transit, and my first time walking around a city by myself. It was scary at times (thanks to all the creepy men I encountered), but it was also a learning experience for me. I feel a little more confident in my ability to handle similar situations. It did make me rethink my desire to solo travel though, so I guess I need to find someone that's down to travel around the world with me. Looking ahead, my friends and I have planned a road trip to North Carolina during fall reading days and I am also taking a travel writing class that goes to Iceland for nine days. I have five concerts coming up before the end of the year and will probably be coerced into even more. These are the things that make me feel alive and like I have more purpose than just going to school for six years and working a job indefinitely. I plan to hang onto these memories for the rest of my life and do my best to find every opportunity to create more of them.

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But anyways, here's to a year filled with smiles and tears, love and grief, electricity and static. I am grateful for everything that has led me to the person I am and the people that surround me. I look forward to what the future holds, while aiming to embrace the present moment I'm in.